Month: January 2021

in the gap between seasons
in this absence of time
in the soft quiet of snow days
of moments paused
of the choice we make between
embracing the lull or railing against it
I am not at rest

it’s been too long
we all know that

once the world starts
like an car, revving and sputtering
emerging with a quiet hum
the warm engine purring
I might move forward

I won’t know
all the things I’ve forgotten

I won’t feel bad
that the horizon is gone
no longer centered
in my field of vision
the soft pink glow
of the sunrise
I’ll hardly miss it

I missed you today
so I took you with me
into all the quiet pauses of my day
and instead of grumbling at the traffic
listened to that song you like
and waited in line
patient for once
picturing you there with me
I walked with you, in my mind,
the thirty feet to the mailbox
imagining your reaction
to the spring greens that curl
from every branch
laughing at the tulips
that I didn’t plant

at the park I told the kids
about how grandma
is the best swing pusher
and dandelion picker
every picture I snapped
was for your benefit
even the gentle spring rain
reminded me of you
so much more a friend
than a mother