Mute

Maybe the words, buried,
in this raging froth of emotion
locked tightly, under my cracked surface,
will come.

I can barely keep them down
they make no sense
poisoned with cliche
they feel desperately inadequate
like me
pretending to be strong
inspired,
inspiring.

When really, I'm lost
heart pounding,
eyes darting wildly around
searching for something familiar
in this wilderness
I am a child again
tearfully searching for my mother
her sure, familiar face
will rescue me
from a sea of strangers,
strangeness
where I float,
untethered and drowning.

I've always been afraid of this
paddling wildly
while the sea drags me away
that Long Island undertow
finally too strong
The roar of the waves
stifling my cries
my voice, too soft,
has never been strong enough
Now it's carried away
and me with it.